Fake It Till You Make It

While I’m not a fan of certain fakes (news and orgasms come to mind), sometimes you need to talk the talk, before you actually walk the walk.

These days, I find myself having to put on a few more Oscar-worthy performances than I’d like to. Whether it’s telling my son Teddy not to worry about going to school, or putting on a happy face for friends and family who are suffering, I know that they need the happy and optimistic Average Jo, not Debbie Downer and Misery Marsha (no offence to the Debbies and Marshas out there).

But it’s not so easy. As someone who’s done my time dealing with anxiety and depression, I know firsthand that telling someone to “buck up” or “relax” is about as effective as slapping lipstick on a pig, when it comes to making real change. However, because I’ve lived and learned (with the help of some great therapists and books), I’ve discovered that acting the part can go a long way to feeling a little bit better.

While there are plenty of days when I’d rather lie on the couch binging Netflix and chips (and have done so), I’ve also pushed myself out the door for some fresh air. And I’ve done it with very low expectations. Forget the Forrest Gump-style walk around the city. I’m happy to get around the block. And sometimes that block turns into two or three. And if not, no big deal.

You know that feeling when a photographer tells you to laugh or smile and it feels so contrived? But yet, once you get that engine running it tends to stick. When I need to turn a frown upside down (my laugh lines thank me), I try to sneak in a quick comedy or just a few ridiculously stupid, but funny Instagram posts. One small “ha ha” may not lead to a full-blown “LOL” but it is one less moment in the dumps.

Lately, I’m finding that this engine needs a lot of jumpstarts. My energy and mood is low (and I can only imagine how it will be as the days get darker and colder). But I’m doing what I can to intersperse a few bright spots in the day, even if that means I have to act the part. Putting up our Chrismukkah tree was one of those moments. Saying yes to a walk with a friend when I really wanted to say, “f*ck off, I’m sleeping” was another one. I may be faking it, but I’m also making it. One day at a time.