As we roll into 2021, and I take on my official duties as a 50-year-old woman, there’s a lot to think about with respect to how I want to live my life and what’s most important to me. We’ve all had plenty of quarantine time to contemplate what makes us happy, what we need (and don’t need!), and what we want to do when we bust out.

I always find at this time of year, I’m burned out and ready to tune out. (I wrote about this feeling at this same time a couple years ago.) Given the year we’ve had, that need has increased exponentially. But unlike previous years, I won’t be heading for sunny skies. I’ll be doing my lounging couch-side instead of surf-side and I’m OK with it. In order to jump into 2021 (and my fifties...yikes!) with renewed vigour, I’m going to make sure to take my nothingness to a new level (or no level, I suppose).

When I named my first company, Sweetspot, the jokes they were aplenty (minds out of the gutter, people). But not only did it define what we were doing (finding the latest and greatest lifestyle trends across Canada), but for me it was my leap into the entrepreneurial world and the first step to finding my “sweet spot.” 

“Bravery is the ability to confront something painful or difficult or dangerous without any fear. Courage, on the other hand, is the ability to confront something painful or difficult or dangerous despite any fear.”

These days, I find myself having to put on a few more Oscar-worthy performances than I’d like to. Whether it’s telling my son Teddy not to worry about going to school, or putting on a happy face for friends and family who are suffering, I know that they need the happy and optimistic Average Jo, not Debbie Downer and Misery Marsha (no offence to the Debbies and Marshas out there).

The old adage is that you should never ask a woman her age, so I will just tell you! As of today, I am 49 years and 315 days young. Which, for you non-math types, means that in 50 days, I will turn 50.

Lately, I’ve been noticing the anxiety levels I have around calling and answering calls...and it has nothing to do with speaking to someone’s mom. It may be partly due to my COVID-related exhaustion. After a day of sitting on Zoom, I’m at a loss for words. But I also feel like the rules of phone engagement have become murky and awkward.

Last week, I was feeling all high and mighty about how great it is to hear opposing views in order to understand alternative perspectives. And now it’s as if the universe is truly putting all of us to the test.

While affirmations are important for our self-esteem and mental health (there’s only so much self-love we can give ourselves), there’s also a lot to be said about being able to hear hard truths and opposing views and take it in stride. And by stride, I mean actually HEAR it and digest it, even if you need to spit it up later.

For the most part I’m proud of my ability to ask others to weigh in, or step up, or step in when I don’t have the particular skills or answers that I need. I’ve even put my tail between my legs and now happily relegate all my home’s technical problems and fix-it needs to Teddy (the said 11-year-old).

Between a global pandemic, climate change, economic instability and the self-destruction of our southern neighbours, there are plenty of valid reasons to be losing sleep these days. Then layer on top of those, the good old-fashioned everyday things that set each of us into a state of high anxiety.

If it takes a village to raise a child, then I’d say it takes a metropolis to build a business. And when it comes to building The Bullet it’s been a journey to hell and back. But I would do it again in a heartbeat (though it would possibly induce a heart attack).

This year has tested all of our powers of resilience and positive thinking. (Don’t throw in the towel yet, we still have a ways to go.) We’ve had to let go of old routines and form new ones, accept that which we used to deem unacceptable (seven days of sweatpants, for example) and simply recognize that we have no control over much of what is happening so we need to work with what we’ve got.

The magical place I’m referring to is Camp Timberlane located a few hours outside of Toronto in the Haliburton Highlands. While I’ve got T-Lane in my veins, I’ve always said that whatever camp you go to is the best camp ever. And more importantly, the lessons learned in this type of environment transcend the day-to-day experience of water sports and campfires.