My Word(s)
We’ve all heard that with age, comes wisdom. But that’s just a kind way of saying that as we get older, we’ve f*cked up so many times that hopefully we’ve learned a lot along the way. At least that’s how I feel.
As we roll into 2021, and I take on my official duties as a 50-year-old woman, there’s a lot to think about with respect to how I want to live my life and what’s most important to me. We’ve all had plenty of quarantine time to contemplate what makes us happy, what we need (and don’t need!), and what we want to do when we bust out.
I’ve spent most of the year riding the rollercoaster of small business, trying to keep mine afloat despite the uncertainty in the world. But, to be honest, the instability of running a digital media company as a single mom, in the age of social media, fake news and rapid technological change was already like trying to balance on a tidal wave, long before COVID came along.
One of the few benefits of having my birthday on Jan. 2 is that I can do all my new year goal-setting all at once. With 50 approaching, I already had a lot on my mind. Thinking about where I’ve been, what I’ve done, what I’ve learned and what I want to change. The recurring themes for me kept coming back to simplicity and stability.
I’m not going to share all the details of my childhood, entrepreneurial ventures and romantic life (I’ll save them for my book) but it’s safe to say that stability hasn’t been something I was ever too familiar with. I’ve lived with so much uncertainty, insecurity and change that it became my normal. (Like walking with a bum leg, I just got used to it.)
Then came 2020. I don’t need to remind you what happened there, but for me it was also year four of building The Bullet, the second year of Newsworthy Co. and more than six years without a long-term relationship. (There were some that were short and sweet though, so I’m not complaining.)
I officially hit the wall.
I’m not saying I don’t still have my entrepreneurial mojo, but I’m ready to trade in some of the adrenaline highs for a more stable and predictable life. Same goes for the dating dramas (been there, done that). I’ve had some good times and bad (I always say bad dates do make great dating stories) and now it’s time to get off the tilt-a-whirl and go for a more stable ride.
Could it be that this girl is growing up? Mon dieu!
While I felt stability was an intention word I was ready to hang on to, it was still missing something for me. Something that is core to my being, one of my strongest values and what expertise I bring to everything I do: simplicity.
In previous posts, I’ve described how my analytical, methodical (math geek) approach has become the secret sauce to how I’ve built my brands (Sweetspot and The Bullet, especially). They have been about taking the complex and filtering and simplifying for others.
As a math tutor, teacher, mentor and advisor, I’ve used that same skill set to help others see the forest through the trees. To clear the clutter and turn problems into solutions. But like many, it’s easier to tell others what to do than to practice what we preach. And I am guilty of the crime.
Whether it’s the tornado that’s my basement, the mess of my personal finances, the complex web and structure of my businesses, I tend to keep adding variables rather than narrowing down. But I’m determined to take the learnings from my last 50 years and put my energy into making my life in the next year and beyond much simpler. I’ve started by clearing out some clutter (including things and toxic people) and setting goals for my financial, physical and mental well-being. I don’t expect it to go perfectly smoothly, but simply better.
I must have a thing for S words, because I have the word still tattooed on my wrist. (You can read about why here.) And now I’ve added simplify and stabilize to my intention lexicon by getting them stamped into bracelets (thanks to Suetables). Unlike a tattoo, these bracelets may not last forever, nor will my focus on simplicity and stability, but for right now, they are in the forefront of my mind and hanging on my wrist.